By Carl Hiaasen | The Miami Herald
An absolutely true news item: Florida Gov. Charlie Crist will seek a pardon for the late Jim Morrison, lead singer of the Doors, who was convicted of exposing himself and using profanity during a chaotic Miami concert in 1969.
Dear Gov. Crist,
I’m writing to you from Rock n’ Roll Heaven, where I’ve been hanging out ever since I nodded off in that bathtub in Paris, way back in ’71.
Listen, man, I heard about the righteous thing you’re trying to do for me — clearing my good name and so forth — and I just want to say:
Come on, Charlie, light my fire!
I only found out about this other day. Jimi, Janis, Elvis and I were sitting around playing Pictionary when Jerry Garcia rolls in with a newspaper and says, “Dude, you won’t believe it! Some super-tanned cat in Florida wants to get your case tossed!”
So I looked at the story, and what you said about me, governor, blew my mind: “He was a young guy who maybe, or maybe not, made a mistake. It strikes me that everyone deserves a second chance.”
Man, I’d love a second chance but, being deceased and all, that’s probably not in the cards. Still, I seriously appreciate where you’re coming from. Forty-one years is long enough. To all those other dudes on the Clemency Board, I just want to say:
The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire.
So, what really happened that night at Dinner Key Auditorium? Beats me, brother. I was totally wasted.
Honestly? It wasn’t the Doors at their best. We could rock, man. We could rip the joint.
I do remember the trial, more or less. The jury was mostly geezers, nobody under 40. Some cops stood up and said I flashed the audience. Then some upright souls from the audience got up and said it wasn’t true.
Prosecutors couldn’t find one single photograph that proved I did the dirty deed — this was way before cellphones were invented, thank God.
Did I use some bad words on stage? Hell, yes, Charlie, I probably did.
But it was nothing worse than you hear today on any Chris Rock HBO special (we just got cable up here — unbelievable! Buddy Holly is totally hooked on Entourage).
Anyway, that jury in Miami nailed me, and the judge gave me six months. To them I just want to say:
Mr. Mojo’s rising!
Thanks to you, Charlie.